Spiritual bypassing sucks

I had a friend who would regularly avoid making plans, cancel plans, change plans, or show up late.

His excuse?

“I guess we just weren’t in flow.”

Meaning that he was just in tune with the universe, following his instincts, and reacting according to how the universe and time unfolded, for the highest good of us all.

If it was in everyone’s highest good for him to come over when he said he would, the universe would have conspired to get his ass off the couch and over to my house. Since it didn’t, our meeting wasn’t meant to be.

My response? Bullshit. You didn’t come to my house because you didn’t want to. It wasn’t a priority, you didn’t make it a priority, you didn’t respect me enough to cancel the plan earlier, and your spiritual bullshit is just a special kind of excuse that I can’t argue with.

Then I learned about spiritual bypassing, the concept of using spirituality to avoid dealing with pain, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs.

Learning about the concept was very validating. It helped me understand what was going on between my friend and I. And allowed me to feel what I actually felt about the whole thing: pissed off. Which, apparently, does not make me less spiritual. So, yay for me!

 

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